Dilemma of the Cup

All my best thoughts and ideas seem to happen in the shower...Recently, I was thinking about the saying “You can't pour from an empty cup” and why? 

The empty cup saying implies that if we don’t look after ourselves first, we will have nothing to give i.e. if you’re on empty you cannot sustain others. 

My personal philosophy has always been to try and put others needs in front of one’s own. This stems from my religious upbringing, in addition to my personal ethos, that the only reason we are here is for the service of others.  

Although at times, feeling empty and like I have no substance to give feels relevant to me, I can’t seem to get my head around the idea of self-care. I personally feel this label is one of the issues with our modern society. The need of the self has become greater than the need of the many. People may disagree and that is ok, these are my feelings and this is who I am. 

So how do you stop feeling empty? Perhaps become a bigger vessel? Maybe a teapot? Or as my son recently called it "Dad’s bucket theory". Is there even an answer? 

In enters Lucy, a personal coach who is young and wise beyond her years. Lucy delved in to some deep questioning with me, not only to check my ethos is fitting for me and my purpose, but also helping to find and center my busy mind and thoughts.

My question to her...”but what if i am the cup? The substance in me does not matter, does it? Whether I am empty or full, I am still a cup, my purpose is to serve and through that service im self fulfilling, (literally and metaphorically)”.

One of Lucy’s endearing skills was not to challenge me on my personal thoughts and beliefs, but to help me understand them, and steer me to find what I wanted to do to achieve them. 

In essence, she made me realise that being the cup was not the problem, neither was what I had to give, but that I was frustrated by not being able to give enough. 

As a human (or cup) my capacity isn’t limitless, so the answer perhaps was that I needed to create more cups. Instead of doing more for people, maybe I could train or help people to see themselves as cups. More cups means more giving. More giving means we collectively achieve more by changing my methodology. 

With this in mind, I am looking to restructure what I do and shift the emphasis from doing, to teaching the skills I have, so others can share the knowledge too. 

It's also good to know that even at the age of 54, a younger person has the the ability to give you insight, help you see clearly and direct you through life. Perhaps as we grow older we become set in our ways. Maybe a younger mind who doesn’t carry the detritus of life, may be able to see things clearer than us.