Bonding with Martyn Sibley…

In my early days working in Equality & Diversity and trying to deal with Dyslexia and a progressive long term muscular condition, I first started reading about Martyn Sibley and his work in the disability arena. I think the first piece was based on something he called the Disability Diamond Theory. It was early days for me so my search continued for many years to find answers on how to live with such conditions. Along the way I read about others with disability but again and again I seem to have come back to Martyn. Perhaps it was because he seems to radiate happiness. (No I'm not going to declare my love for him and ask him to run away with me, sorry am not that way inclined!). 

However the more I read and followed him through his various and varied presence on social media the more intrigued I became with his work. To be honest, initially I did think he was someone who perhaps was a bit self-obsessed, (they are out there even with disabilities). However continuing on and the more I got to know him through his work I very quickly realised that he is a genuine caring person who is out there to do the best for disabled people and always with a smile.  I haven’t met him yet but already feel like a kindred spirit. 

As someone who is now considered the 3rd most influential person with disabilities. I do think he is being a bit cheated though. Once you see what he has achieved and done you realise that you can easily forget his disabilities and concentrate on him as a person who can show you how to have a passion for life, regardless of the circumstances.

Having read his book Everything is Possible (available from Amazon) and again it amazed me that how he has managed to do so much with his life regardless of his disabilities. As a bit of a James Bond geek, it seems to me he has completed more missions and faced so many dangers and yet he is still so passionate with what he does. There’s a lot of talk on who should be the next bond and whether he should be black or female, perhaps they need to add or with disabilities. My money would be on Mr Sibley. He seems to have the skills, though I do think his very good lady needs to continue educating him in his culinary tastes (see below) !

After reading his book I was left with a few questions, so I sent Martyn an email, and he kindly responded. The short question and answer session we had has been attached below for your perusal below.

Thanks to Martyn for allowing me to include it in my Blog.

Q. Early year’s education seemed you went to a specialist school. In hindsight would you have preferred to have gone to a more general mainstream?

A. Regarding the question about schooling. At my primary school I was the only disabled person. At my secondary school I was one of two wheelchair users in all of my year. Which had 8 classes in total of 30 kids each. However I then went to the unit on breaks where the care and physio support was available. So it was a mainstream inclusive school, but with better support for disabled people full stop

Obviously not being able to go to the local school was very hard and upsetting. So this aspect definitely had an effect for that year. But in the end I kept in touch with my primary school Friends anyway. Plus forged new friendships at the secondary school which was about 30 minutes away. Furthermore I was introduced to some other disabled people, which was very important for me in many different ways.

Q. Obviously carers play a huge part of a lot of disabled people’s lives. Sounds like you have a great relationship with most of them and continue to do so, what's are the main things you look for?

A. it would be good to say there is a scientific solution. But the reality is it's all very organic. I've changed a lot in the last 10 years, and so do many of the carers. Sometimes it's best to call it a day after a while and leave on good terms. Other times some people can work for years and years.

The biggest Factor I suppose is communication. There needs to be clear boundaries of roles and responsibilities. Plus the Safe Space to speak up if either person is unhappy with anything. But of course to still have the time for fun and laughter to.

Q. You seem to be able to maintain a positive attitude even in difficult circumstances? How? 

A. the positive attitude to some degree is in my DNA. My parents are very positive and I think I got that from her. However there are clearly days where I'm tired or worried or stressed. It's a human trait that escaped nobody. So in terms of not letting this get to me, and Bouncing Back I allow myself to have a Down moment. Maybe read a book or watch a good film. And then crack back on with my life goals. Which definitely are a fuel towards something more positive too.

Q. You mention that certain things like the cold have a real effect on you? So when you went sledging, what was it that made you say though the danger is there you still strive forward?

A. with the Husky dog sledding I don't remember it being so conscious. We were invited to Helsinki and it was great to experience a new place. I knew it would be cold but I figured we would just wrap up well. So that day with the dogs and the very cold temperatures was beyond my expectation. Overall I can see a trend of engaging with higher adrenaline activities. In the end I think it's about pushing out the comfort zone and feeling different emotions from time to time.

Q. Along with your disability equipment, hearing about your pickiness for food do you carry a 12 pack emergency supply of beans with you? 

A. lol. I'm much better now thankfully with my food. Very much connected to my ladies influence. But in the past it was almost that crazy with taking baked beans and crisps everywhere with me 

Q. Some of your visits whether at Auschwitz or Hiroshima show a real depth of humanity in you for your fellow man. If you could do one thing that would help with this what would it be?

A. it's interesting your point about the humanity. I hadn't seeing those visits in such a way, but you are definitely right. I suppose my work for disabled people is a way of improving the world whilst being at home and in the UK. I sometimes consider doing more abroad, but I have found the travels more and more tiring recently. Either way I also think humanity can benefit from taking stock of everything and being more mindful. So I would also look for more of this in humanity.

Q. Obviously your much deserved success has also meant you get quite a bit of criticism from fellow people with disabilities? What encouragement or advise would you give them to help turn around their attitude? 

A.it would be arrogant to say that they are wrong and my way is right. Sometimes I'm sure I have done things that needed a different perspective. And other times it was right from who I am, but not for the person consuming or interpreting it. But for anyone feeling stuck and negative I think I would just say to tap into their own passion. The things we did as children are often the things we will still enjoy in adulthood. I know I love communicating, travelling and learning. So I tried to make my job as much with these aspects. I also would urge people to not be defined only by their disability, as this has a Downward Spiral. The more we see ourselves as positive and capable people the more opportunities will come to us.

(End)

Once again this isn't a love letter to Martyn but it is a big thank you from me. For showing me that though you may be in a chair and have difficulties, it still very much up to you as to how you live your life.  In a recent post Will Smith Quoted “it may not be your fault for what’s happened but it is still your responsibility to take charge”. If you want to know how?  Follow Martyn Sibley and read his spy novel (Sorry book)!